Second I didn't write this.
Third, Bon Jovi is band not a man. The fact that this article is titled Jon Bon Jovi pisses me off.
Forthly. I did not write this review.
By Chris Wasser
Thursday June 30 2011
"This ain't no television show," says Jon Bon Jovi, he of the marching band jacket-wearing variety. "Get out of your seats!" he exclaims. Jeez Jon, no need to shout -- we're up, we're up. But then that's what you're good at, I suppose -- shouting and that. Excuse me? A bit harsh, you say? Well, you could hardly call it singing now, Jon.
Oh, foolish little man and his leather-clad buddies. It takes a lot more than so-called anthems to make a good stadium rock show. It requires power. Presence. Urgency. Not just a fist in the air and a wiggle of the arse. Indeed, the Bon Jovi live experience can be summed up quite quickly: band shows up, band plays songs, everyone cheers, band goes home. Along the way, there's some clapping and whooping and everything you'd expect from a typical American rock outfit (it's the Irish women that keep them coming back, apparently). But it's so contrived; so irritating; so completely forgettable.
SCREECHY
Maybe it's because they're approaching the last few weeks of the tour, but did anyone else feel as though the New Jersey foursome were just playing to get it over with? That, for every moment a single Irish fan sang along with Jon, all the man could think about was getting the hell out of there?
Because that's what it looked like. At the beginning, at least. Sure, he and his friends loosen up somewhat in the middle (fine, I'll admit it -- the whole Bad Medicine meets Roy Orbison via Buddy Holly medley was kind of fun) but seriously, two-and-a-half hours is just too much.
Stand there (sitting is not allowed, remember?) and make a list of how many times Jon (49) sings about 'living his life' the way he wants to. Within 30 minutes, you'll lose count. Maybe even the will to live. But no, this lot have "more hits than a heavyweight fighter" (his words, not mine). Yep, they can go all night.
This was hardly a riveting, or even memorable, concert. Who knows? It could be that, after 28 years, they're just going through the motions, looking forward to getting home soon. Perhaps it's like this all the time. Either way, round two kicks off tonight. Best of luck. To the fans, that is.
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